Warning! This is a very funny article. It’s so good, it could be used as part of laughter therapy.
“I’ve been studying aromatherapy and I’ve been mixing oils and fragrance to make remedies for just about everything. I heard someone say you have to be careful not to make something toxic or blow up the house. Still, I’ve been experimenting like a mad scientist. The process reminds me of my mom when colors her hair. She mixes so many vials of color, there’s no telling what color hair she may have when she leaves the bathroom.
Aromatherapy keeps me busy and…..well, happy. We all know how important that is! Those counselor appointments aren’t cheap! The house smells good and I smell interesting. My Daughter asked her dad, “What’s with mom and all the little bottles? Every corner of the house smells different, and something stinks!” True, I’ve oiled everything, including the dog.
The essential oils book I bought has recipes for proper mixing but you know how I hate to follow directions. I sprayed my husband’s pillow with a citrus mix and he dreamed he slept in an orchard. I sprayed my pillow with lavender and rose. I slept all night for the first time in months. The next night I forgot to spray our pillow, and I was up all night. I think that’s the night I made my husband’s lunch at 3:30 a.m.
I’ve discovered some hazards of aromatherapy that I thought I might warn you about.
- Don’t ever put your contact lenses in your eyes directly after a bath using essential oils. You’ll have a foggy outlook all day.
- You might want to consider having bathtub rails installed if you are not an avid skier. It will help you stand up in the shower if you are the lucky one to follow a person who took an aromabath.
- There are toilet hazards: Always check to see if a freshly oiled person has visited the site before you sit down. I’m not sure if homeowner’s insurance covers injuries occurred from sliding off the seat. The toilet is no place for a sitz bath, I can tell you that much.
- If you spill any oil in the floor you will want to get it up immediately before some unsuspecting person learns to do a Chinese split on your kitchen floor.
- If you get essential oil on the kitchen counters while mixing, don’t use the dishtowel to wipe it up. Your dishes will smell like patchouli and your husband will sing Rolling Stones songs at the dinner table.
- Don’t mix too many fragrances at once. It could confuse the olfactory nerve in your brain, and you won’t be able to tell if you are feeling relaxed or stimulated, or if you are hallucinating.
- It’s a good idea to have your bathroom doorknobs removed and the doors hinged so they swing outward. That way you will not become trapped in the bathroom and make yourself late for work trying to turn the knob with greasy hands.
- The sandlewood oil is for your feet, the tea tree oil goes on the trunk of your body, but the bergamot does not go in your nose!
- Never do an oil and salt rub right after shaving your legs unless you are trying to reach the high notes in an opera tune. Some of the grains in the Dead Sea salt are still alive and will attack open wounds.
- If you give the dog a massage you may want to omit the massage oil. Fur is not all that absorbent but upholstered furniture is.
- If you find that you are spending too much money on your aroma habit, you may have to keep your debit card under lock and key. Just because you have checks left in the checkbook does not mean you have money in the account. Ask me how I know.
Okay, so I’m kidding. Essential oils are wonderful tools for relaxing and they really do work, if you mix them correctly and go by the book.”
by Yvonne Perry, http://yvonneperry.blogspot.com